The Book What I Wrote. Part I

Well, here’s a turn up for the er, books. Bridgette Pirtle has, after months of speculation, allegedly started writing her tome of truth and wisdom.


You saw it first on Twitter

The erm, manuscript was delivered to me only hours ago, and I gleefully dived into it straight away. It goes with hardly a mention, that I cannot and will not reveal how I came to be in possession of this thing of wonder, and please note that I have it on good authority only that it was indeed penned by our favourite ex-SeaWorld/pro-Blackfish/anti-SeaWorld/anti-Blackfish/pro-SeaWorld lycra-clad vascillator. So, as there is so much nonsense material to cover, I thought it would be best to section it off into parts…… Let’s start with the contradictions and overt snobbery, shall we? I hope you’re sitting comfortably? Do you have a cup of coffee? a biscuit? Good. Let’s go…….

pirtle book 1

Bucket scrubbing clearly isn’t for the faint-hearted.

So in just 2 seasons 2 whales were dead. Impressive record of care there. Back to the bucket-scrubbing though, it would seem that once the last bucket has been scrubbed an air of divine superiority descends:

Too posh to scrub

Too posh to scrub

Dancing to your own tune is highly commendable, but please try and remember how the tune goes….

Why is there always a God quote?

Why is there always a God quote?

So working within an industry that, in reality felt “heavy” and “guilty” was “off”, yet it’s perfectly acceptable to appear on TV and where ever else extolling the virtues of this self-same industry. Apparently, even though it’s wrong, it’s still absolutely hunky-dory to take your children to see them? These double standards are giving me double vision.

Double standards will reach double figures at this rate

Double standards will reach double figures at this rate

The, uh, book, then goes on to talk about maintaining the dignity of the orca, because being in a concrete tank and performing banal circus tricks is the height of dignity for such a large and intelligent creature.

pirtle book 4

Which insight would that be?

The ONLY way these animals would regain their dignity is to take them out of the pools and put them back into the ocean. As for sharing your insight? Sharing pictures of captive orca and sucking up to SeaWorld on heavily-biased TV interviews and websites isn’t insight, it’s self-promotion.

So it's all John's fault?

So it’s all John’s fault?

There’s useful “insight” right there. “Over worked animals”, “poor management decisions” and “exhausted trainers” yet the decision to use that information to to actually do some good, was completely over-ridden by the need for self-gratification “I simply wanted to be back with the whales”.  A golden opportunity was lost because of selfish need.

Says it all really.


The Book What I Wrote Part II
“Why I Am The Only One Who Is Ever Right”




Comments are closed.

%d bloggers like this: